tastebuds & earbuds

SYTYCD Says Goodbye to 4

OK...so fair warning...I've had a long week...I've had a bottle of wine...and I'm just sitting down to watch 2 hours of SYTYCD at 9.45. Oi vey. Let's do this. (Did I already mention I miss the all-stars?)

Opening dance with Cyrus in the middle was AWESOME. Surprisingly (to me at least)...that was a Nappy Tabs routine. I wouldn't have pegged them for Marilyn Manson and a non-lyrical dance routine. Good for them.

(I still hate the kung fu dancer. I was just reminded during the intro dances.)

So I'm still not really clear on the rules. Everyone is going to dance a second dance tonight. Then they will announce the bottom three girls and guys and the judges will save one guy and one girl. (I just typed gurl because of Cat's pronunciation.) The other four will be going home. So basically we get to see everyone dance one more dance tonight...and if anyone bombed it last week, they have a chance for redemption tonight. I wonder if the judges know the bottom dancers before the show starts? So they can really focus on which ones they like best out of the bottom group? Just a thought.

(I also still hate Mary Murphy. But I can't do much about that. Grin and bear it I guess. I love Adam Shankman. And I love Cat actually. She's beautiful and one of my favorite hosts of a reality competition show. But I don't give a goddamn rat's ass about "dance day"...sure it's good for dance...but I'm over all the promos and it's only the second week. OK....on with the show. STOP TALKING Nigel. We get it...Dance Day is July 28th...at least that means there is only one more week of promos. Ha.)

Best news I've heard so far...Twitch will be performing later tonight. Oh, the good old days. (Of course he's there to promote his new Step Up movie...directed, of course, by Adam Shankman...but we all know it's all about promotions anyway.

1. Lindsay and Cole:: (ballroom and kung-fu) with choreographer Christopher Scott. Lord. There will be lots of kicking and stretching and punching in this routine. OH GOD. Kung-fu dancer is dressed as a nerd and the teeny bopper Mormon is a sexy dentist...and there's an actual dentist chair and instruments on the stage. Great song for that dance (never heard it before...Teeth by Lady Gaga)...but way too many props. I didn't care for it. And kung fu nerd is really a complete tool.

FAIR WARNING. I CAN TELL ALREADY THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG RECAP. WINE MAKES ME QUITE VERBOSE....AND MEAN.

2. Amelia and Will:: (quirky albino and tall dorky contemporary) with Sonia Tayeh. Love her routines! (Plus, she has traditionally used songs that have introduced me to some amazing new artist...win-win for Hannah.) Seriously, Amelia is so pale she looks like she has white body paint on. Music was cool...dance was cool...but they were just OK. Could have been better with wacky Hawaii Mark (love him) and Courtney. But the judges loved it. I guess kind of like them.

3. Amber and Nick:: (black girl and dork ballroom ) with some tango choreographers that I don't know. Didn't he have ballroom last week? How is that fair? And she basically says finding chemistry with him is a joke. She literally said they go together like "bubblegum and oil". HA. Maybe he'll go home this week and she'll get a new partner. One can only hope. It's a dumb dance. I MISS PASHA. I mean, come on...how are we supposed to watch ballroom unless Pasha is sexing it up on stage? Ridic. I could care less about these two.

4. Audrey and Matthew:: (little, cute girl and Ryan Gosling dude) with Sonia Tayeh. He's wearing guy liner so I'm pretty much sold. Yep, I'm easy like that. He's hot. I liked it. And her flexibility is sick. (Oh Cat liked the guy liner too...copyCat. Ha.) I like the darker style too, Nigel. Or as he said, "the stank steps"...ummm...OK, old dude. p.s. I just looked at my recap from last week and they were my favorite...at least I'm consistent. Still like them.

COMMERCIAL BREAK:: I can't wait for the train wreck of Britney on X Factor and I don't even watch that dumb show. Get ready for snarky recaps from TB&EB. (That's me.)

5. Janelle and Dareian:: (dumb-dumb-head belly dancer and cute little nugget) with Christopher Scott. Eh. Ended it with a real kiss...but still just sappy and cheesy. They are tiny.

6. Janaya and Brandon:: (still don't remember her and he's the stepper) with Sean Cheesman. Broadway...oi. It was OK...slow motion part and the lift were interesting. Were her shoes supposed to come off? Also, someone was mic-ed at the beginning that shouldn't have been. I thought it was cute enough for Broadway. (p.s. Adam and the movie plugs are killing me. At least he admits it.)

7. Eliana and Cyrus:: (cool ballet girl and rad animator) doing a jive by Melanie and Tony. This could be a disaster. (But I don't want it to be.) Holy shit...those jump splits she did...wow....he's trying really hard. And he's a good partner, but not so awesome at this style. But I still love him. And I really like her. Interesting note...we found out that they draw numbers and based on their numbers they pick their dance. So that's why some of them have had dances more suited to them...they drew good numbers.

8. Alexa and Daniel:: (the beautiful contemporary choker and the ginger ballerina boy) with contemporary chore Dee Casper or something. In a bathtub...dancing to Yanni. Two strokes against them already. It was OK...the end portion was lovely (and kind of seksi)...hopefully that will help them out b/c their dance last week was lame (due to the choreography. And the judges are right...they don't have great chemistry and as beautiful as Alexa is and as an awesome of a dancer, she doesn't connect.

9. Tiffany and George:: (who? and one of my fave boys) with Tony and Meredith doing the Foxtrot. Weird version of I Want to Be Love By You by Sinead O'Conner. He has amazing legs. They are the other super tiny couple in the competition. I like him. Her...eh, I could care less. Judges loved it. OK.

10. Whitney and Cheon:: (hot Mormon ballroom and Swedish sexy ballerina boy) with Nicool something or other and Bollywood. This could be good. (Plus it's in the last spot...which they usually reserve for awesome.) Sharp and crisp and really, really good. She's gorgeous. He's a great dancer.

OK....now it's time for announcing the bottom 6 dancers.

For the girls:: Janaya, Alexa, Whitney

For the boys:: Nick, Daniel, Cheon

Alexa and Daniel's dance last week was bad. Not their fault completely. Whitney and Cheon had a rough time with samba...but I'm so surprised she's in the bottom. I think Nick and Janaya should go home. (Please go home Nick.) Sidenote...seriously? Who is voting for kung-fu dancer...is it you Allison?

Ahhhh...so the judges did know who the bottom six were. And they don't want to see anyone dance for their lives. They already know who they are going to send home.

WAIT...I just realized that four of those six are going home (I told you I've been drinking)...so that means I'm also going to lose Alexa or Whitney this week and they are two of my potential faces. That's a bummer. Alexa looks terrified.

Up next:: Twitch and some other jokers do a dance for Step Up Revolution (and yes, I'll be seeing that in the theater). Oh, and Catherine from dance is the lead lady. Interesting. And Phillip with the wacky liquid body moves. I'll like that. And lots of flash mobs...which I also like. Win-Win. Ha.

The dance from the movie was rad. Phillip was awesome. I forgot about him. (He's way skinnier than he was when he was on the show.) And I loved Catherine when she was on too. And obvs I love Twitch. Cool.

OK Nigel, we get it...there is no negativity...America is voting for who they LOVE and the judges are voting for who they are going to SAVE after talking to the choreographers for input...nobody is getting voted OFF...whatevs. I don't like this new format.

Girls are up first...the judges save...Whitney

Bye bye Alexa and Janaya. Alexa could have gone farther...that's too bad.

Guys are up next...the judges save...Cheon

Bye bye Nick and Daniel. Daniel could have gone farther too. Serously? Kung-fu dancer made it farther than that professional ballet dancer? DUMB.

My faves this week:: Audrey and Matthew, Whitney and Cheon, Amelia and Will

See, I told you that was going to be a long one. If you're still reading, thanks for sticking it out. (Oh, and I couldn't even stomach it to go back and edit it...so I'm sorry for any mistakes...ha.)

P.S. It's 12.15...how did it the me 2 and 1/2 hours to watch a 2 hour show with a DVR? Lord.